Archive: Sports

January 6th, 2009

World Series of Beer Pong

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Some dude named Ron Hamilton is my new hero. I have to meet this guy. If your out there reading this or somebody out there is and knows him, have him contact me because him and his partner beat out a 400 team field in the World Series of Beer Pong at the Flamingo Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas to take home the $50,o0o grand prize.

How in the world I wasn’t there for this is beyond my belief. I’m ashamed to admit that this wasn’t even on my radar. So for this shame, I’m amending my goals for 2009 to include a rigorous beer pong training program in preparation for the World Series of Beer Pong in 2010. It’s going to be hard to get this training regiment OK’d from the better half but with a little effort (or a really nice present) I think I can get the go ahead.

I’ll see you drunk chumps there!

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December 21st, 2008

censors to help NFL refs

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Every football fan has had a ref make a bad call at their team’s expense and knows, NFL refs aren’t perfect. But footballs and gloves with built-in sensors? Those might just make coach’s challenges history.

Dr. Priya Narasimhan of Carnegie Mellon University has developed the football and gloves, loading them up with wireless sensors that can precisely determine whether or not a ball hit the ground before being caught or whether or not someone had control of the ball before fumbling. It could also, using GPS, determine whether or not the ball cross the goal line. But the applications do much more.

Currently, there are no teams or football organizations on board with the technology, but I wouldn’t be surprised if a network got on board to help them create super-accurate animations and recreations of plays.

Ed “Guns” Hochuli is praying for this!

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December 11th, 2008

this kid has insane trick shots!!!

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I love trick shots in basketball even if I couldn’t pull one out of my ass if $1,000 was on the line. But this kid is another story…check him out!!!!!!

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October 28th, 2008

no more Sex Rod

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Since the Boston Red Sox got bounced by those lovable Tampa Bay Rays, they can fully devote their attention to more pressing matters.

Like the ‘Sex Rod’ case.

An interesting but completely fucking stupid copyright/patent case for the ages, the argument of slang terms for a penis are argued. The long and short of it is that back in July of 2005, Brad Francis Sherman from New York, (which I’m sure didn’t help the matter at all), applied for a patent and trademarked the term ‘Sex Rod’ written in the stylized font similar to the above ‘Red Sox’ logo. His intention was to satirize the Red Sox trademark and brand clothing items for sale with his ‘Sex Rod’ logo.

He was going to put the logo on cardigans, t-shirts, lingerie, night gowns and other clothing items.

But the Red Sox organization has been fighting Sherman’s use of their logo arguing that it is immoral, scandalous, and could imply a false endorsement from the baseball team.

One of the funniest and best parts of this whole thing is reading through the Trademark Trial and Appeal Board’s testimony where the Red Sox lawyers argue that ‘rod is a euphemism for the male anatomy.’

No shit huh?!? WhenBut it is pretty funny to imaging a bunch of nerds in suits arguing over whether ‘the public’ would reasonably assume that ‘rod’ would be understood to mean ‘an object with phallic qualities’.

Get a fucking grip.

I think what really fucked Sherman’s case to keep his Sex Rod brand was that he intended to produce the logo on children’s clothing including baby bibs and infant-wear. The board was none too happy with the thought of babies sporting ‘Sex Rod’ paraphernalia.

Reminds me of that Disney kids underwear that said ‘Dive In’ on it.

In the end, Sherman was blocked from using Sex Rod mostly because he couldn’t produce any products with the logo or the intention of using these products. The ‘intent to use’ clause did not appear to be filled by Sherman. He argued he could launch a product line in minutes by simply creating a ‘Cafe Press’ account, but the board didn’t buy that theory and thought he was just dicking them around.

However, the board did disagree with the Red Sox on one major point, judging that it would be unreasonable to assume someone seeing the Sex Rod logo would imply endorsement from the team. So they aren’t completely off base on that one. Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough to persuade them the other way and it now looks like Sex Rod clothing is down and out.

Bets that Alex Rodriguez jumps in and buys this name???

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I love sports. And I’ll pretty much watch whatever is on. But never hockey.

It’s boring, except for playoff hockey which I love and actually will watch. Living in Toronto this isn’t going to be a popular decleration with my Canadian brethren. Sorry buddies.

But I love my boy Alexander Ovechkin. I love him because besides being amazing on the ice, he’s making a move that nobody else of his stature would. When the world’s richest athletes sign endorsement deals, they usually go with a top of the line company. So how cool is it that Ovechkin’s new endorsement deal (he signed a 13-year, $124 million dollar deal with the Washington Capitals in January), is with the Hair Cuttery.

Just about any other prominent athlete would have inked a deal with a hair cutting chain that cost $500 a pop. But the league MVP, whose contract is the richest in league history, gets his haircuts at a place that charges $14 for a cut and a wash.

I know your wondering so here’s the breakdown of the deal for the 24-year-old Russian who will earn $9 million next year. He gets $109,756 per game, $1,829 per minute and $30.48 per second. That all means that Ovechkin pays for his haircut in roughly a half second of a game.

I love it even more because the best part about this endorsement is that he really goes to the Hair Cuttery! I get mine cut at this crazy place called the House of Lords by my girl Sara (your the best!) for a whopping $15, so it looks like I’m a baller. But I’m curious…how much do you pay for your haircut and what’s the most you’d ever pay? Leave a comment and we’ll have some fun with this one!

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September 3rd, 2008

Nike not happy with Senior Shpants

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In case your not all over the tennis scene or a big aficionado of the sport: Rafael Nadal, or Senior Shpants as i call him, is the world’s top player with the whole weird/Eurotrashy clothing thing going on.

He sports the long hair held back with a colorful bandanna, sleeveless tank top/t-shirts, and his go-to just-past-the-knee, tight-fitting man pants.

But I can’t really knock the guy because…

1. He’s got the guns to flaunt
2. He the #1 ranked guy in the world (even if I still think Federer is better)
3. He makes tons of money
4. He’s European (Spanish), so what would you expect?

But the big dogs at Nike aren’t so happy with their boy and his fancy pants wardrobe. The Wall Street Journal has reported that Nike announced Nadal will be wearing some more conservative polo shirts and looser, more traditional shorts for the US Open. They referred to it as him ‘growing up’.

But my boy Darren Rovell, of CNBC sports business has a different take on the whole situation and I have to agree with him. He had this to say…

“Although Nadal’s public relations person told The Wall Street Journal before the tournament that this was the Spaniard’s choice, I knew from the start it couldn’t have been. It was Nike’s choice. Why? Because just like Puma couldn’t sell Serena catsuits, Nike can’t sell cutoffs and tight capris to the average tennis player. Not only does the average tennis player not have the guns to showcase, but try wearing the cutoffs at a country club. And those pants? I’ve never seen one average Joe wearing those.

We know the story by now. Nadal said he couldn’t get used to the attire in time and has worn his muscle T’s and capris throughout the Open. Bottom line is it’s a great look for Nadal and adds to his personality, but his clothing choice is admittedly bad for Nike’s business.”

Poor Nike. They got bashed for snubbing Adidas’ Dwight Howard in the Team USA promo photos and then they announced that they can’t compete in making swin suits against Speedo.

PAGING TIGER WOODS!!!!!

 

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August 28th, 2008

that’s gotta hurt

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If your squeamish, you shouldnt watch this. Some of these are just nasty to see and give you a weird sick feeling in your stomach. It always amazes me how human body can twist and bend in ways they shouldn’t.

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August 25th, 2008

the sex fest in Beijing

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One of the first things I think about when the Olympics come around is how much sex is going down at these things? All these superior and good looking athletes (including my girl Leryn Franco) are walking around half naked most of the time so it’s only natural that they’re going to be attracted to each other. And it’s not like they’re going to be intimidated to talk to one another, they already have an easy ice breaker being from different countries and sharing the fact that they’re one of the best in the world at what they do.

So to give us insight into the freak fests that go down in Olympic Villages, former Olympian Matthew Syed, who now works as a commentator, wrote for the Times of London, “This sex fest … [happened] right here in Beijing. Olympic athletes have to display an unnatural … level of self-discipline in the build-up to big competitions. How else is this going to manifest itself than with a volcanic release of pent-up hedonism?”

Syed said that winners “as geeky as Michael Phelps” were wanted by tons of female athletes, but that even the losers get some lovin.

Matthew says he “got laid more often in those two and a half weeks (at the Barcelona games in ‘92) than the rest of my life up to that point.”

And this guy played table tennis!!!

When are video games going to become an Olympic sport?!?!?!?

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August 15th, 2008

the billion dollar man

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Assuming he’s still around, Tiger Woods is on course to become the world’s first billionaire athlete in the year 2011. His wife is also insanely hot and I’d rather go on and on about her but I digress.

Everyone know how great he is and that he’s virtually unbeatable, but it also it doesn’t hurt that Tiger has been steadily bringing in an 8% return on all his off-the-course investments for several years now. Makes me wonder what he knows that the rest of us don’t. Maybe being the greatest of all time gives you contact to anybody and everybody in the world who can put you in touch with some smart market analysts.

Just a guess.

Regardless the Wall Street Journal is saying that a few things could prevent him from hitting billionaire status by ‘11. Little things like more injuries, magically transforming into Rory Sabbatini, and getting dumped by his wife. But let’s be realistic, these things aren’t happening. I have a better chance of having sex with his wife (another shameless way for me to slip in a picture of her) than any of the above deterring this man. 

Good for him. His video game is one of my favorite games to play so I’m glad to help pad his bank account. Now how about being a WG sponsor!!!

 

 

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July 28th, 2008

sick of it all

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He’s sick of them…they’re sick of him…and I’m sick of it all. Next to the Brett Favre saga (which I just played into by showing him in a virtual Bucs uni) this is the most annoying story in sports.

Like clockwork, Manny has gone ape shit and is causing problems and annoying the world by dominating SportsCenter. Now I really like Manny, but sometimes I wish he would stick to taking a piss inside The Monster and growing his hair out. And I refuse to utter the phrase so commonly used when talking about Manny…enough of that already! It’s gotten some damn annoying and cliche!!!

That said, the Dhali Lama of baseball, Peter Gammons, wrote a great piece on the whole saga. Check it out here!!!

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